I have a friend who once told me she only believes you can know if a couple are right for each other if they have gone through a struggle. I suppose I believe in that too to an extent. My love struggle is being separated from the one person I want to be with constantly because of university. Its hard. Very hard. But not impossible. So here is my long distance love guide. You will probably have heard these tips before, but that is because they work!
Staying in touch is vital and in this day and age, inexcusable.
My top three:
- Blackberry Messenger (aka BBM)
- Phone calls
When you are under each others feet you take for granted the mundane. "How was your day?" or "whats for tea?" become the things you miss. For me they do at least. I don't insist on knowing absolutely every tiny detail of my other halves life but the little things make me feel connected.
Talk about the people you have around you. Imagine visiting your boyfriend/girlfriend and hanging out with their new friends and not understanding any of the conversations. Alienating no? I am not suggesting you spill your best friends secrets in order to stay close to your lover but just tell them about places you have been, things you have seen so they can understand the life you have with these new people.
Obviously. Do this as often as possible. It is the best part. If you must make rules such as taking it in turns or leaving it no longer than X amount of time then fine, but I prefer to remain flexible. Less stress and therefore less arguments over whose turn it is, who does it more, who wants it more and the like. I am a student so I have to work weekends so I get less chance to do the visiting but my boyfriend understands this and if you get to see each other who cares which bedroom you are sleeping in?
As I already said in "Talk" sharing all the little details of your day can make you feel closer to your loved one so share as much of those as you can. Share pictures of places you have been and sights you have seen. If you see something your partner would be interested in, tell them. Arrange to go see it together when they visit.
Before I moved I made a mix CD (I know, I know) and made 2 copies. One for me and one for him, so we could listen at the same time and he would know how I was feeling. It worked, he loved it. And so I will leave you with one of the songs I put on there. And good luck in all relationships long distance or not. X